waking up to break fast

I felt like a machine losing charge. Like my gears’ full of rust and each part is starting to slow down. I am getting crazy as I am as tired. And I can feel my body about to give up. The one-week break sure is reimbursing the stress it should’ve given. I’ve been working all day, doing three or four roles for a production bigger than the ordinary show I am producing. After which my group mates and I worked on our paper due tomorrow which follows doing an experiment with my partner at 9pm. I was back in my dormitory at 10 to realize I haven’t tasted water yet this day. And here I am now still working with my body upset of what I am doing. I can hear my mom’s voice at the back of my head: aanhin mo ang lahat ng bagay kung may sakit ka at di mo naman ma-eenjoy?

I just realized how much I miss childhood. Back then, I never skip meals, hated people who skip breakfast, hated people who won’t sleep early. But look whose hated now. I had my first meal of the day at 3: 30 in the afternoon. And let me tell you, I don’t eat breakfast anymore, which is depressing when I remember I eat five times a day back in high school. It makes me miss a good ‘ol breakfast on a fine morning when my eyes won’t open and I had to eat freshly steamed or fried rice. I remember waking up in summer, having breakfast and off for swimming lessons. I remember waking up at five thirty in the morning riding my bike and off to buy pan de sal with my sister. I remember breakfast in Thailand where breakfast is seriously breakfast. I would get dressed and go down at the hotel’s caf, where I would eat endless strips of bacon, eggs, French toast, rice, pancakes with super creamy and yummy butterballs, sausages, bread and noodles. Where the kitchen serves you whatever drink you may like: milk, orange juice, coffee, mango juice. It makes me want to go back and savour the breakfast delight.

Thing is, we are very attached to how fast the world revolves we forget to value ourselves – our health, the time spent with people, the joys of playing it simple. It’s a matter of missing and longing to go back. The things we love should not be left aside. In my case, eating. Let me tell you how I love to eat. I eat when I feel like I should and even if I don’t think I should. I go on ordering super meals and extra rice. I go on crying as an immature student when I skip meals. And I mean it when I’ll tell you this line: “I am hungry, and you don’t want me hungry. You won’t like it when I’m hungry”. I remember calling my mom on the phone bawling because my sisters and I went straight home when were supposed to go eat after a school event. My mom had to tell our yaya to cook as soon as possible or she’ll get pissed with my crying. And now that breakfast is at far reach, all I can say is that: when you do things you like and you think you’ll miss, savour the scent of it. Touch it. Cherish it. It will slow down the rapid changes in our world, in your own world.